Good Monday Morning Everyone,
I’m almost embarrassed to admit that it’s almost been a whole year since my last MMA. It was my intention to resume my weekly distribution back in January; however, I just got overwhelmed with school and work and life in general. I apologize to anyone who may have been distraught or severely devastated when you didn’t find a new MMA waiting in your email inbox every week. But I plan to do better next year because I know how much everyone looks forward to my witty sense of humor and the birthday shout-outs to start off the work week. So consider today’s edition to be the pre-quel to the new and improved MMA’s coming in January. New name, new format, new features. So stay tuned.
Anyway, just in case you weren’t aware (and I don’t know anyone who isn’t) there are only 3 days until Christmas. So for all you last minute shoppers out there, it’s time to get crackin’. I always look forward to 6pm on Christmas Eve to finally arrive. That’s when most of the stores are closed and all the Christmas shopping that wasn’t done just won’t get done. And that’s when the true essence of Christmas begins for me. It’s a time when the whole family can come together from near and far in anticipation for tomorrow’s main event.
Every year around this time I think about my loved ones who are no longer here. I think back on the good times we shared - the smiles, the hugs, the talks, the laughs, the special moments that will be forever etched in my memory. And it reminds me of the opportunities I have each day to create new memories and special moments with the people that I love who are still here.
So let us all remember during this holiday season to cherish the time that we have with our loved ones. And not just at this time, but the whole year round.
And most importantly, let us remember that Jesus is the reason for the season.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
P.S. – Enjoy the funnies
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Cheap Christmas Gift
After being away on business for a week before the Christmas Holiday, Bob thought it would be nice to bring his wife a gift.
"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics woman at the Department Store. So, she showed him a bottle of $50 perfume.
"That's a bit much," said Bob. The woman then returned with a smaller bottle costing $30.
Bob complained, "That’s still a lot of money."
Growing disgusted, the woman brought out her smallest little bottle of $15 perfume.
Bob grew even more restless and replied, "No no… What I mean is I'd like to see something really cheap!"
So the clerk handed him a mirror!!
* * * * * * * * * *
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual question, "And what would you like for Christmas ?" The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
* * * * * * * * * *
I am a bus driver for high school kids. It is Christmas time and the kids all gave me cards and presents. Now I'm thinking, "Man, I must be a good driver and the kids even like me."
I opened the cards when I got home. On the inside of one card it said: "Thanks for not killing us yet. We really appreciate it."
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The Singing Parrot
A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately, Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately.
He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious, the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing..."Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"
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