Monday Morning Mocha - 4/13/09

Good Monday Morning All,

I hope everyone had a great, wonderful and blessed Easter weekend. And for anyone who hosted an Easter egg hunt in the backyard over the weekend, I sincerely hope that all the hard-boiled eggs were found. Because if not, you will be in for a “stinky treat” in a week or two once the weather heats up. There’s nothing worse than the smell of rotten eggs. P-U!!

Anyway, in light of all the sad and depressing news making headlines lately, I thought I’d scour the internet for some amusing photos and stories from around the world. And here’s what I found:



Remember the expression: “When pigs fly”? Well over the weekend, they did just that at this show in Sydney, Australia. Rumor has it that Miss Piggy was originally scheduled to make an appearance, but the promoters decided to rescind their invitation following a disagreement resulting from her diva-like demands. She insisted on the full VIP treatment for herself and her longtime boo, Kermit the Frog – first class flight, a limousine from the airport and lodging at a five-star hotel. (For a pig show? Really??) Her meal request included two Quarter Pounders with cheese, three Big Mac’s, four large French fries, two apple pies and a diet Coke. Oh, and a jar of chocolate-covered insects for Kermit. But her most peculiar demand was that she wanted to be formally introduced by her BFF’s (so she says) Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. AND she wanted to be addressed as “Miss Piggy Gettin’ Jiggy ‘Cause Piggy Got Back.” The promoters agreed to all of her demands except for the introduction. Ultimately, the negotiations broke down and they decided to invite Porky Pig instead. And aside from a little stuttering, he was the hit of the show.




“Pup in a Cup” anyone? This product idea was submitted to the folks at Starbucks, but of course they turned it down. They did, however, purchase the rights to use the photo in print ads to appeal to animal lovers. How cute is he??? He is straight up chillin’!! Striking a pose for the camera. I think his nickname should be Li’l T Dub. He’s a photogenic little guy and, being that he’s only three weeks old, he’s still in his cute phase. But just give him a couple months and he’ll be speaking Spanish and craving Taco Bell. A few months later he’ll start listening to Snoop Dogg and Bow Wow and barking for “gin and juice” in his bowl instead of water. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t eventually turn to a life of crime and end up serving time in a maximum security doggy prison. He’s too cute and he may not last very long in there. So before he takes that wrong turn, maybe T Dub’s owner can get McGruff the Crime Dog to become his mentor.




Quick! Think of 10 song titles/lyrics that best describe this photo. Here’s what I came up with:
1. I Only Have Eyes for You (The Flamingos)
2. I Always Feel Like Somebody’s Watching Me (Rockwell)
3. Eyes Without a Face (Billy Idol)
4. Eye of the Tiger (Survivor)
5. I Can See Clearly Not, The Rain is Gone (Johnny Nash)
6. Private Eyes (Hall & Oates)
7. For Your Eyes Only (Sheena Easton)
8. His Eye is On the Sparrow (Tonya Blount & Lauryn Hill)
9. Forever in Your Eyes (Mint Condition)
10. All Eyez on Me (2Pac)

Those eyes look creepy, though. I’d hate to walk by and discover that they’re ALL following me!

Finally, Happy Birthday wishes go out to everyone celebrating a birthday this week. Have a blessed week and remember - Wednesday is April 15 which is the deadline to file your taxes. So if you haven't done so, you have until midnight on Wednesday.



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Monday Morning Mocha - 4/6/09

Yesterday as I sat in my living room watching television, I couldn’t help but glance over at the clock sitting on the entertainment center. It has a little swinging pendulum that would catch my eye every now and then. So I found myself watching the hours slowly tick away and the weekend along with it. I considered moving the clock or taking out the battery which would stop the clock. However, the weekend would still be coming to an end and there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I took comfort in knowing that another one will be here soon. So I’m eagerly counting the hours....

Anyway, lately I’ve been noticing things that remind me of the fact that a vacation is long overdue. First, I keep seeing the latest Southwest Airlines commercial with the drink vendor who falls down the steps and spills drinks on the fans at a sporting event.




And then while flipping through the channels over the weekend, I came across “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.”




And even though I’ve watched that movie many times before, I watched it again just so I could enjoy the beautiful scenery of the white sandy beaches in Jamaica. Kinda sad, right? So I’m searching various travel websites for a good deal on a nice vacation package. And if I fly Southwest Airlines, maybe I can book the flight with the rapping flight attendant.




I just want to find someplace where I can relax on the beach with a fruity drink (like apple juice of course) and do absolutely nothing but read, write or listen to my iPod. So then I can return home feeling refreshed and renewed and ready to take on anything – well almost anything. So don’t be alarmed if I happen to miss a Monday Morning Mocha post one week this summer. It just means I finally took a vacation.

Moving on, Peter Cottontail and his buddy Roger Rabbit went out to the club Saturday night and they both ended up having a little too much to drink. Roger got jealous when he saw Pete dancing with his ex-girlfriend Tina. So he walked over to them and he challenged Pete to a dance contest, right on the spot. Given their extremely competitive nature, Pete accepted the challenge and the dance floor was cleared. In the first round, they went old school and each took turns doing the Cabbage Patch, the Running Man and the Robot. In the next round they moved on to newer dances like the Chicken Noodle Soup, the Bird Walk and the Stanky Leg. At the end of the second round, however, the crowd couldn’t decide on a clear cut winner because they both were great dancers. So the DJ randomly picked the tie breaking dance from a hat containing suggestions from the crowd. And wouldn’t you know, the tie breaker was…….. the Roger Rabbit! Needless to say, Roger began to feel a bit cocky and prematurely proclaimed himself the winner - because after all, HE invented that dance. So Pete went first and he RIPPED IT UP. When he finished, the crowd went WILD! Roger started to get nervous because he didn’t want to be outdone with his own dance. His nerves along with the excessive alcohol caused him to become very dizzy and he passed out. Pete convinced everyone that Roger was faking because he had pulled that trick many times before to avoid defeat. When Roger came to, he saw that the crowd had chosen Pete as the winner. Roger was so mad, he rushed toward Pete and drew back his fist to punch him. But before he could land the punch, two bouncers grabbed him and escorted him to the door as he threatened revenge. But Pete just laughed and gave a nod to the DJ who began to play “Blame it on the A-a-a-a-a-alcohol” as Roger was removed from the building. Roger and Pete have not spoken to each other since. But word on the street is that Roger is planning to get back at Pete by reporting him to the IRS for failing to file taxes on his income from his yearly Easter bunny gig. So if you happen to notice a shortage of Easter baskets, eggs and candy this week, it’s probably because Roger made good on his threat and now Pete is sitting in federal prison facing tax evasion charges. That just goes to show you: NO ONE can get away with not paying the IRS.

Happy Birthday to everyone celebrating a birthday this week. A special birthday wish goes out to my “little sister” Angel who turns 13 this week. Also, over the weekend we celebrated our one year anniversary of our big/little sister match.

Finally, yesterday began a week of remembrance and reflection of the most selfless act of love which resulted in the opportunity for all men to have everlasting life. It is during this week that we observe the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And when I think of the fact that He loved me so much that He laid down His life for me, I can think of no greater love.





Happy Easter to everyone. And have a blessed week.

Monday Morning Mocha - 3/30/09

Good Monday Morning All,

I hated to see the weekend come to an end last night, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. So, here we are on another Monday morning ready to face another work week. And to help start it off right, I’ve decided to put together a little quiz to find out just how well you know me. And it’s pretty amusing as well. Once you’re finished, count how many questions you got right and use the scoring key to see how well you did. Enjoy!!


1) What is my middle name?
a) Sheila
b) Shanelle
c) Selena
d) Ann
e) None of the Above

Answer: E – Although some people like to call me Kimberly Ann (for whatever reason), my middle name is actually Shera. Funny story - up until about 8 years ago, I thought my middle name was spelled Sherae. That is until I went to get my Maryland drivers license and they wouldn’t accept my birth certificate because the “e” on the end was added with an ink pen. I had to send to North Carolina for a new birth certificate and saw that it was spelled without the final “e”. My mom says that the nurse mistakenly omitted it. So now I use both spellings.


2) Which one of these things do I like to celebrate most?
a) Fridays
b) Birthdays
c) St. Patrick’s Day
d) The beginning of football season
e) The end of rabbit season

Answer: B – I love to celebrate birthdays, mine and my friends. That’s why I like to give birthday shout outs in the MMM’s. Birthdays are so special. It marks another year of life which is definitely something to celebrate. And although I don’t actually celebrate it, I like to see the end of rabbit season as well. That way, Bugs Bunny can be saved another year from the hands of that mean ol’ Elmer Fudd.


3) Who is my favorite musical artist/group?
a) The Jonas Brothers
b) Hannah Montana
c) Milli Vanilli
d) New Edition
e) New Kids on the Block


Answer: D – Anybody who knows me KNOWS that I love New Edition. Although, I will admit that I also listened to a little New Kids back in the day. WAY back in the day. And Milli Vanilli too. Now, those guys had talent. Lip synching can be pretty hard work to make sure you don’t get caught.




4) Which one is NOT a job I once had?
a) Bank teller
b) Pizza order taker
c) Cucumber picker
d) Lifeguard
e) Telemarketer

Answer: D – Although I spent many summers at the pool as a child, I was never a lifeguard. But the oddest job I’ve had was working in a cucumber patch one summer. I was about 12 or 13 at the time. My cousins and I picked cucumbers and were paid by the bucket. We arrived at the field very early in the morning, but it was still pretty warm outside and the day seemed so long. Once I got back home, I tried to take a nap but every time I closed my eyes, all I could see were cucumbers. Needless to say, that was my first AND last day picking cucumbers. The money was good, though.

5) What three words are engraved on the charm that I wear on my necklace?
a) You Go Girl!
b) Smiles R Us
c) I Love You
d) Live. Laugh. Love.
e) Run, Forrest, Run!

Answer: D – One of my favorite sayings is: “Live Well. Laugh Often. Love Much.” But if anyone comes across the Forrest Gump necklace charm, PLEASE let me know.

6) What’s my favorite TV show?
a) 24
b) 24
c) 24
d) 24
e) 24

Answer: A, B, C, D or E – What can I say? Jack Bauer is the man!!

7) Which did I NOT consider as a future career in high school?
a) Accountant
b) Spanish interpreter for the United Nations
c) Computer programmer
d) Teacher
e) DJ

Answer: C – This was a trick question. Although I’m currently in the IT field, I didn’t consider becoming a computer programmer until after I started college. As for the DJ career path, I wanted to be the first female DJ. And then Spinderella came along. So I figured I needed to rethink my career path.

8) One of my secret passions is to:
a) Become a world renowned chef
b) Appear on the Oprah Winfrey show
c) Become a hiphop dancer
d) Meet Hill Harper
e) Become an actress

Answer: C – I like to dance, I just wish I could do it better.

One day I want to look like this:

Right now, I look like this:



But I’m working on it. As for Oprah, who wouldn’t want to be on her show? And Hill Harper? It’s no secret how I feel about him.




9) What’s my favorite quote in “The Color Purple”?
a) “I’s married now!”
b) “You sho is ugly”
c) “You told Harpo to beat me!”
d) “It’s gone rain on yo head”
e) All of the above

Answer: E – I’m sorry I couldn’t just pick one. That movie is a classic! And the musical is just as good. Be sure to check it out if you have the chance.

10) As a preteen, I learned about “the birds and the bees” from:
a) My mom
b) My friends
c) Reading about it
d) Sex education class
e) Watching TV

Answer: C – I wrote about this in my Facebook note titled “25 Random Things to Know.” As an avid reader as a child, I first learned about sex from an old textbook I found at my grandmother’s house. And I didn’t realize that I was mispronouncing the word “vagina” until I took sex education in the 7th grade. I have a cousin named Regina and I thought the pronunciation was the same.

Scoring Key:
8-10: You seem to know me pretty well. We must be related.
5-7: Not bad. But if you want to know more, just ask.
2-4: Wow. I thought you knew me better than that.
0-1: I’m sorry, have we met? My name is Kim


Finally, I want to wish a happy birthday to everyone celebrating a birthday this week. Have a blessed week!

Monday Morning Mocha - 3/23/09

Good Monday Morning All,

Spring is sprung and the weekend weather definitely proved it. It was beautiful and sunny both here in the Queen City and in Kinston where I visited this weekend. I wanted to spend some time with the fam and to start preparing for our upcoming family day gathering. It’s always interesting to go back to where I grew up and see how much it has changed over the years. And it definitely has changed. While I was there I had a chance to catch up with some cousins and we just stood outside in the yard laughing and talking like country people do. After awhile, the conversation ended and I headed back to my car to go to lunch with my sister. And as I walked across the street, we broke into the scene from The Color Purple where Mister is forcing Nettie to leave her sister Celie. And as Nettie is walking down the road she is gesturing to Celie the hand game and singing the song that they had been playing and singing earlier (“Me and you, us never part…”). I like to act out that scene at the end of conversations with friends because they’ll jump right in and play along. What can I say? It’s just one of those movies with so many memorable quotes and scenes.

Scene from The Color Purple
Nothing But Death...



Like most people, one of my favorite pastimes is watching movies – in the theater and at home. I recently got a Blockbuster by Mail membership which gives me a chance to catch up on a lot of movies that I’ve never seen before or haven’t seen in awhile. Believe it or not, I have never seen any of The Godfather or Scarface movies, so I’ve put them on my list along with newer movies and old favorites. And in addition to the movies produced by major studios, I also enjoy those that were made on much smaller budgets and have received little or no national recognition. I became a big fan of independent & short films a few years ago after discovering a show on BETJ called The Best Shorts. It showcases short films from various cultures and diverse topics and it’s a great way for filmmakers to have their movies seen by a huge audience. The host for this season is Hill Harper and I think he does such a great job. In between films, he shares his experience regarding filmmaking and the movie industry and each episode usually has a different theme. One of my friends is an aspiring filmmaker and likes to watch the show as well. From time to time, I like to remind her that I am available when she’s ready to cast her first film. I think I’d be great for the part of “Lady-in-the-elevator #2” which has only two lines. Who knows? Maybe it could lead to a bigger role (“Lady-in-the-elevator #1” which has 10 lines) in her second film. If you’re a movie lover, check out the show and let me know what you think.







Finally, I want to leave with you the Top 10 Reasons to Smile according to About.com:

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive
2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
3. Smiling Is Contagious
4. Smiling Relieves Stress
5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

And if nothing else can make you smile this morning, maybe this will:




My school picture from second grade. I had curls when I left the house that morning. Honest!




Happy birthday to everyone celebrating a birthday on this week. Have a blessed week!

Monday Morning Mocha - 3/16/09

Good Monday Morning All,

The weekend’s over and a new work week is upon us. Another Monday is here and you know what that means – a new hour of “24” for Jack Bauer fans. That hour seems to go by so quickly, though, which is why I don’t like to answer my phone or reply to text messages or IM’s when the show is on. If you call during a commercial, we can talk at least until it comes back on. The hour is so action-packed, I want to make sure I don’t miss anything. And talk about action-packed, March Madness begins this week which will explain the extended lunch breaks and the video streaming of the games on your computer at work. I remember seeing a story on the news last year that March Madness is one of the least productive times of the year for many companies. So if you’re gonna watch at your desk, make sure you keep the volume down and find a way to look busy if your boss should walk by. Or if that’s a little too risky, just use your cell phone to get the scores and highlights.



Moving on, July 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays. I get such a thrill from watching the fireworks explode in the open sky. Growing up my cousins and I liked to put on our own little fireworks display in the field next to my grandmother’s house. Of course we would have the usual firecrackers, sparkers, stink bombs, etc. But we also made our own ghetto fireworks using Brillo pads (YES, Brillo pads). This is how we did it: First, take the pad and attach it to the end of a straightened wire hanger and make sure to bend the end so that the pad won’t slide off. Next, make a small hole in the pad and insert a strip of newspaper or brown paper bag. Finally, get someone to light the paper with a lighter and wait for the fire to reach the pad. Once this happens, extend your arm holding the other end of the hanger and then swing it around in a circular motion. As you do this, the sparks (illuminated fragments from the pad) fly off a little at a time until the pad is all used up. Ghetto, right? I know, but it actually was a lot of fun for us. One year I decided that I wanted to be the one to twirl the hanger. So once the Brillo pad was lit, I started swinging my arm and I watched the sparks fly. But I guess I must not have been doing it right because I saw a spark land on my shirt - my favorite shirt and it was made of lacey material. Anyway, when I looked down, I noticed that the spark had burned a small hole in my blouse so I immediately DROPPED the hanger and started patting my shirt to make sure that the fire was out. Seeing that I was ok, one of my cousins picked up the hanger and finished twirling until the pad was gone. From that point on, I had no interest in doing that ever again. I’m just so thankful that a spark didn’t land in my hair. At the time of the incident, I had not yet started wearing a jheri curl (that came years later while in middle school). And we ALL came to find out that flying sparks and a head full of jheri curl juice don’t mix. That was a lesson learned when Pepsi was “The Choice of a New Generation.” Poor Michael.





And speaking of Michael (Jackson, that is), a few weeks ago one of my Facebook friends was trying to find others who remember the song that Kim Fields wrote and sang to Michael Jackson in her early teens called “Dear Michael”. I remember hearing it on the radio and thinking that after Michael heard the song, he and Kim Fields would start dating and then get married some day. Obviously that’s not what happened, though. But I wonder if she regrets ever recording that song. Probably not since she was only a teenager at the time and it was most likely just a big crush. Whether she regrets it or not, it’s one of those things that will never be forgotten – especially when there’s a video out in cyberspace of her singing it on Soul Train. Check it out.

Kim Fields | Dear Michael | (1984)
Uploaded by soultrainfans

It’s like one of those embarrassing home videos your parents took of you when you were a kid. Thanks for the memories (and the laughs), Ms. Fields.
Finally – Happy Birthday wishes go out to Aquito T. and everyone else who is celebrating a birthday this week. Take care and have a blessed week! Go Carolina!!

Laffapalooza 3/9/09

Good Monday “Mornting” All. (Thanks to BET, I had a Madea overdose this weekend)

We had such great weather this weekend. It’s so unbelievable that not more than five days earlier, we had several inches of snow on the ground. Go figure. Alright now, who’s gonna admit it? Who forgot to turn their clocks up Saturday night/Sunday morning? I was actually still up around 11pm and decided to turn my clocks up then. But for some reason, I still felt sluggish all day yesterday. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that I was up pretty late than the fact that I got one less hour of sleep.

Anyway, I wanna try something a little different. This week’s edition contains lots of stuff to make you laugh. I call it "Laffapalooza" (to borrow from Jamie Foxx’s comedy festival). So enjoy, and hopefully you’ll get a good chuckle to start off your Monday morning.

Have a blessed week!

* * * * * *

Jay Leno’s Headlines
Here's something I didn't know about homicide victims...

...they rarely talk to the cops.

* * * * * *

Only you know...

Actually, we ALL know!

* * * * * *
Do you ever run into telemarketers who try to deceive you?

Hmmm...
* * * * * *

If you're going to specialize in this form of plastic surgery...

...you want a name like this guy's...
* * * * * *

This restaurant has a very strict payment policy...

...absolutely no chicken accepted! Would you take a cashier's chicken?
* * * * * *

This bar owner may be taking the name of his bar...

...a little too literally.

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First Day of School - 5 Years From Now

====================================================
Kids Say the Darndest Things

Ironing

A mother was ironing the clean laundry one day. Her son asked her, "Mother, why are you ironing those clothes?"
His mother said, "To make them nice and wrinkle free."
Her son said, "Then, why don't you iron Grandma's face?
* * * * * *
Beauty

A little boy watched, fascinated, as his mother covered her face in cold cream. "Why do you do that?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful."
When she began to rub it off, the boy asked, "Why are you doing that? Did you give up?"


* * * * * *
Grandma's Age

A little boy asked his grandmother how old she was.
"39 and holding," she replied.
"Well, then, how old would you be if you let go?"


* * * * * *
Teacher: Barry, your essay about your dog is exactly the same as your brothers. Did you copy his?

Barry: Ma'am. It's the same dog.
* * * * * *

Teacher: Donald, how do you spell crocodile?

Donald: K R O K O D I A L

Teacher: No, that's wrong.

Donald: Maybe it is, but you asked me how I spell it.
* * * * * *

Teacher: George Washington chopped down the cherry tree, but then admitted it. Does anyone know why his father didn't punish him?

Brian: Because he still had the axe in his hand.

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The "Chicken Noodle Soup" Dance-Off

Here is the original video:

Now, here are other interpretations:

Monday Morning Mocha - 3/2/09

It was definitely a full weekend with all the CIAA events here in the Queen City. I was just wishing that I had one more day off to fully recover. Early yesterday, I was mentally preparing to head back to work - because after all, the bills have to be paid. I had just finished watching Friday’s episode of Oprah (with Steve Harvey and Jennifer Hudson) around 9PM when I noticed that it seemed kinda bright outside for this time of night. So I went over to the window and – “what to my wondering eyes should appear?” It was SNOWING!! (Talk about March coming in like a lion!) I was so excited I had to run outside to see it. Living in New York for eight years (and in Buffalo for two of those years), you’d think I’d be used to the snow. But I’ve always liked to watch it fall and cover the grass. I just don’t like shoveling or driving in it. And even though snow was in our local forecast, I really didn’t think we’d get much, if any. But Mr. Weatherman got it right this time. And thankfully, I’m chillin’ at home today.

Back to CIAA news, I want to send out a big congratulations to both the men’s and women’s basketball teams of Johnson C. Smith University for winning the CIAA championship title this past Saturday. I got a chance to watch the guys play on Thursday night in the quarter finals and I knew that they would go all the way. Ok, I didn’t really know it, but I was hoping that they would. And they did. This is definitely a proud moment in JCSU history. Check out pictures from the games and other events HERE.

Finally, today is the birthday of the man we have to thank for such classics as “The Cat in the Hat,” “Green Eggs and Ham,” and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” If he were alive today, Dr. Seuss would be 105 years old. In reading about his life, it was ironic to find out that he wrote many, many children’s book; yet he had no children of his own. Part of his inspiration for writing children’s books was to get children interested in learning to read. So never in a million years could he have imagined that his words would be profoundly immortalized by the likes of the Rev. Jesse Jackson. (Unfortunately I wasn’t able to embed the video, but you can click HERE to watch the video of Rev. Jackson reading “Green Eggs and Ham” on Saturday Night Live.) Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss and to anyone else celebrating a birthday this week.

Ok, I have to go now. I wanna go outside and make a snow angel and, maybe have a snowball fight with my mom. But I gotta watch out because she’s pretty fast. It’s definitely NO fun getting a cold, wet snowball to the face!!

Have a blessed week.